The Unseen Adventures of the Samurai Jack
by Kalifla
Summary: A storyline I've had for far too long in my head. Expect cameos from DBZ characters and weird humor. If you don't like it, suck on mah big toe. You heard me.
1. Prologue

Prologue  
  
The days since he had assumed the throne had been peaceful for the citizens of the Empire. The strange foreign woman he had chosen for his wife had adapted well enough, despite the earlier trials. They were indeed in love, and now had two sons to show for it. It was an idyllic time for the man once called "Samurai Jack," and this morning he was quietly drinking his tea, reveling in the beauty of the early light.  
  
"KAI! What have I told you about playing ninja in the hall?!"  
  
The emperor half winced, half smiled. His first-born was indeed a handful. Sophie strode into the open parlor, robes aflutter, an irate expression fixed on her green face. Her fine dark eyebrows were drawn together as she glared at her dearest husband. Kai sullenly trailed after.  
  
"He's your son, you talk to him." Sophie crossed her arms. Kai made sure to look properly abashed before his father.  
  
"He is your son as well, I'm afraid." said the emperor calmly, setting down his cup. He gazed at his wife and son, remembering again the fear their very appearance brought out in his people; they called her "demon girl," for her dark green skin and large, sharply pointed ears marked her as distinctly inhuman. Her long black hair was bound up in a shaggy bun, never seeming to behave when she wanted it to. Kai was more like him, sharing his strong jawline and intense stare. His own sharp ears twitched, listening carefully as he continued to lower his gaze respectfully. "Kai, did you disobey your mother ?"  
  
"Yesfather, Ihumblyapologizeitwillneverhappenagain," mumbled the little Kai. Being the eldest of the emperor's children wasn't easy for him, especially as Kai's younger brother unwittingly proved himself more docile and proper. He resisted the urge to scowl, thinking of how the little goody two-sandles was probably meditating right now.  
  
The emperor took another slow sip, ignoring Sophie's exasperated sigh and Kai's anxious fidgeting. He opened his mouth to admonish his son.  
  
BOOM! CRUNCH!   
  
The ceiling now had a small gaping hole some feet to the left of where the emperor sat, his mouth hanging open in shock. Kai blinked a few times, and one of Sophie's hands flew to her mouth. Below the gaping hole floated a tall, caped figure, the sun at his back obscuring his form.   
  
Sophie blinked once, then her eyes widened in recognition. The caped figure moved out of the glare, revealing a shark-like grin. It directed its next comment to her.  
  
"Hey kid."  
  
She blinked again, hardly daring to believe it was him. "D-Dad?"  
  
"Yeah. Finally found you." He raised one broad green and pink arm towards the hole, and a beam of bright light shot from his fingertips. "Just sending the message to your mom." The emperor stood up, staring as confusedly at this new arrival as Kai did. His eyes questioned Sophie's.  
  
"Jack, this is...my dad!" Her eyes filled with happy tears, she began to explain. Kai merely listened and watched, wondering just what the hell WAS going on. "D'ya remember what I said before, that night...?" He nodded, directing his gaze back to the green man.   
  
The emperor noticed more, now that the light was no longer blinding; this strange man did look a great deal like his wife, with the green skin, impossibly large ears, and distinct fangs. The large turban hid any possibility of hair, and the dark purple gi was loose around bulging musculature. He was indeed a warrior, an old veteran by the way he carried himself, and it would explain a lot about Sophie if he was her father. As he pondered this, a small, child-sized blur zipped down and through the hole, running straight into Sophie with enough force to knock her down. Kai yelped and hid behind a wall hanging. The blur began jabbering in a thick, sobbing alto.  
  
"Oh my baby! We found you! Finally! After all these years and all the searching and all the hard work and..." Sophie was aghast. It was her mother as well! She couldn't help but smile, hugging back in the fierce embrace, smiling back to her father. Her mother abruptly trailed off.  
  
"Damn! You're taller than me too." Sophie laughed.  
  
"Isn't everyone?"  
  
The green man shook his head slowly. "Kalifla, you really need to learn some manners. First time since she was little that she's seen us and you knock her on her ass like an idiot." Kalifla responded by sticking her tongue out at him and letting her arms cut off the circulation to Sophie's neck. Sophie gacked and gingerly removed herself. Kai watched the exchange in awe. Who WERE these people?  
  
The emperor stepped forward. "So you are Sophie's parents. I have heard some things about you. I had never expected to meet you, though."  
  
Kalifla grinned, "We never expected to find her again! But we're so glad we did. I'm Kal, and this is Piccolo. Her father. But you knew that! And who are you? Who's that behind the painting? Do you have a--" Piccolo cut her babbling short.  
  
"Just shut up already." Kal frowned, brushing some shaggy blond hair behind one ear. The emperor cleared his throat softly.  
  
"I am her husband." He turned to the scroll painting, motioning for his son to come out. Kai shyly complied, staring at the strange intruders to his palace. He would've been more annoyed if it weren't for the raw power they exuded. After all, the tall man had yet to actually touch the floor with his feet. "And this is our son, Kai."  
  
There was a long, awkward pause.  
  
Kal broke the silence with an excited squeal that made everyone jump. Piccolo's eyes rolled up in his head, and he fell right into gravity's clutches with a resounding THUMP.  
  
Kalifla's mouth was off and running again. "I'M A GRAMMA! Oh, this is wonderful!" Her smile, if at all possible, was broader than ever. The emperor blinked.  
  
"This...comes as a surprise to you, I would imagine. It has been a long time..." He walked over to the dazed green man, glancing down at him worriedly. "Will he be okay?" Kal turned her manic grin on him.  
  
"Oh, he'll be fine. But ya gotta tell me how this happened! How you met, when this started!"   
  
Sophie sighed, pulling Piccolo into a more comfortable position. He groaned. Kai made is way over, curiously staring with his dark, dark eyes. The emperor looked kindly at his odd new audience, and, seating himself again, prepared for the story to be told. Kalifla sat cross-legged in midair, expectantly. Sophie looked at her husband as she propped up her recovering father. The emperor folded his arms in his wide sleeves, and began his tale.  
  
"Long ago, in a distant land, Aku, the Shape-shifting Master of Darkness unleashed a great evil. But a courageous samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose him..." 


	2. Chapter 1: First Sight

First Sight  
  
Samurai Jack unsheathed his sword yet again, bringing it close enough to dent the chubby chin of the frightened emcee. He repeated in a lower tone, one strand of hair sliding across his face, "Set. Them. Free."  
  
The emcee's fat, ringed fingers faltered, then found the button. All prisoners who waited in the dank darkness below the Dome's floor were suddenly raised up into the dimly lit arena, even now squinting with the change. The slavedriving droid removed their chains, cracking his electro-whip a few more times over their heads. "G'won, get out of here!"  
  
Jack turned and glared intensely at the evil droid, speaking but one word. "You!" A few quick swipes later, it was destroyed, and Jack was heading out the door as the former slaves walked free.  
  
A very disillusioned crowd dispersed in the upper levels. "Tha's no' 'ow fights'r supposedta end!" grumbled a Cephalopod.   
  
"I know! We got gypped!" whined a small Bernaclular next to him. The various creatures, organic and non, began to go to their homes and jobs. Among them was a tall, angry green female of unknown species. She had her own tank to work on, and she hadn't even finished the design specs for the aft turret weapon. She sighed heavily, the sound lost amid the murmur of the remaining audience. She turned her scowl down to the samurai, watching him exit through the bottom doors. Thanks to him, she had just lost a good three thousand! The stupid human had beaten every opponent. With one hand pushing a stray scraggly bang away from her face, she departed, one last annoyed snort her parthian shot to the Samurai Jack.  
  
/center  
  
Piccolo groaned, finally coming around. Sophie helped him to sit up as the emperor took another sip from his tea. Kalifla blinked. A lot.  
  
"That's it? That's how y'all first met??" she asked, incredulous. "But he didn't even see you! That doesn't count!"  
  
"Not so loud, woman..." Piccolo rubbed the bridge of his nose, glaring fitfully around the room.   
  
Kai finally spoke up again, and cautiously asked Piccolo, "So...if you are my mother's father, you are my grandfather?" Piccolo's eyes twitched at this. Kalifla beamed at Kai, and set her feet on the ground to walk to him.   
  
"And I'm yer gramma!" She hugged Kai to her, Kai awkwardly trying to return the gesture. Sophie stood up, hoping to save him from further...discomfort.  
  
"Kai, go get the servants to clean up the mess," she advised him in her haphazard Japanese. He hastily complied. He just wasn't used to hugging complete strangers. As he left, a couple of the palace guards rushed in to investigate the crash. They stared, open-mouthed, at two strangers. The fact that one of them was green didn't register. They WERE palace guards, after all. Before they could ask, the emperor raised a pale hand.   
  
"These are guests, the parents of my wife. Please tell the cooks to prepare a feast tonight in celebration." One guard eyed the hole in the ceiling, one looked at the emperor like he was insane. But both bowed, retreating through the parlor door; it seemed that yet another surprise was to occur, and they took it in stride. There had been a lot of those in recent history.  
  
Kal watched them leave, then turned to the emperor again. Piccolo seemed woozy as he irritably crossed his legs underneath him, crossing his arms as well. Sophie sat back to glance at the emperor again, who responded with a prompting look of his own. "Your turn," he seemed to say good-naturedly.  
  
"Mmm..." sighed Sophie, biting her lip. "Well, I could talk about the first real mission we had..."  
  
Kal settled herself down, on the floor this time, and waited. The emperor sipped the last of his tea, set the cup down, then put forth his attentive face. Piccolo sat there and pretended not to listen. 


	3. Chapter 2: The First Actual Adventure

The First Actual Adventure  
  
Jack sliced through the last thirteen beetle drones with a deafening SHING. Night had fallen twice since Aku had sent this particular horde at him, and nearly five times as many of every model as was normal. He sheathed his sword, tiredly, contemplatively. Aku must be getting frustrated to no end. He wiped a few beads of sweat from his brow and continued on.  
  
He paused halfway down the road, looking up through his most recent straw hat. He knew this city. He lowered his gaze from the frantic traffic above him, and walked along the dirty streets until he came across an old garage; the door was down to keep out the impending dusk chill. He smiled a weary, wonderful smile. Here, he could find respite, as he had before. Jack walked to the side door, removed his sandals, and knocked politely on the wooden frame.  
  
The door cracked a bit, revealing a small, dark eye, then was thrown wide open as the middle daughter exclaimed gleefully, "Samurai Jack!" He smiled paternally down as she leapt forward and glomped his waist with her tiny arms.  
  
"May I come in?"  
  
"Of course! Okaasan has dinner ready, c'mon!" She released him, whirling rapidly on white-socked feet to inform the family. Jack couldn't help but chuckle as he followed at a more stately pace, removing his hat once inside. Quietly he slid the door shut.  
  
"Ah, Samurai Jack, so very good to see you again!" Mr. Tengu came to welcome him, face wrinkling with a smile. Jack bowed, returning the warm smile. It was almost like home, again. Mr. Tengu moved to one side to allow him in.  
  
"It is good to see you again as well...all of you," said Jack as he ducked under the top of the doorframe. He vaguely remembered where the dining room was, and the sound of the happily chattering children helped guide him to it. He walked to one side of the low table, and seated himself comfortably. The girls were still arguing over who would get to sit next to him, while the youngest son showed him some of his drawings. Mr. Tengu sat at the end, still smiling across to Jack. Mrs. Tengu began to lay food on the table.  
  
She asked gently, "So, what brings you back to our humble home, Samurai?" 


End file.
